Retired From Work, But Not From Life

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If you read my Tribute To My Dad last week, you may have caught my “hint” to my Dad’s friend, John, about waiting for his Guest Post.  Well…wait no longer.  I am excited to offer you today a guest post from one of the wisest men I know, and a man I greatly admire.

John Willson has been a friend my entire life.  He’s a PhD, with a long and successful history as a professor at Hillsdale College.  For most of those years, he worked with my Dad. He is a truly gifted writer, with a story to tell. John retired a decade ago, and writes today about retirement in small town Michigan.

Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.

He’s retired from work, but not from life.  He’s a thinker, and an excellent writer.

It’s reality, folks.  And it’s worth reading.

Listen to his wisdom, and think about how you can apply his learnings to your life.


Retired from Money and Retired from Stuff

by John Willson


“Figure out what is your passion—what you absolutely must do to be happy—and then figure out how to get somebody to pay you to do it.”  

John U. Bacon, Writer


“What would we do, if we didn’t have our work?”

Pauline Bremer (my Mother-in-Law)


“I get up every morning and don’t have anything else to do, so I go down to the store for a while.”  

George O’Meara (my next-door neighbor for thirteen years in the 70s and 80s)


3 Quotes To Make You Think

Those three quotations have struck me, and puzzled and challenged me, for many years.

  • “Figure out what is your passion—what you absolutely must do to be happy—and then figure out how to get somebody to pay you to do it.”
  • “What would we do, if we didn’t have our work?”
  • “I get up every morning and don’t have anything else to do, so I go down to the store for a while.”

Those quotes have taken on more and more meaning—not always happy meaning—in the decade or so since my retirement from college teaching.

I entered classrooms with joy for almost a half century, greeted by about 12,500 students and 78,000 papers and exams and quizzes to grade.  I sat in nearly 4,000 meetings (not quite as much joy there) with colleagues and parents, and gave I’ll never be able to count how many “extra” speeches and counseling sessions and shoulders to cry on.

All those years people paid me to read, write and talk!

Now I’m a recovering professor who has found—almost—a wholeness in a stage of life that still allows me, although without nearly as much pay, to read, write and talk.

I want to offer some thoughts on what I’ve learned from these three quotations, but first, let me offer:

“Willson’s First Law of Retirement.”

It is, of course, not original, but I’m claiming it so I get to name it.  Here it is:

You aren’t going to change very much after you retire.

If you have been lazy and good-for-nothing most of your life, you will probably not gain fire and ambition and great goals in retirement.  If you have always been a criminal, you probably won’t “go straight.”  If you have worked hard and paid your bills, you probably won’t become a slacker in your later years.  If you have always dreamed big and been a risk-taker, don’t be surprised that you will find ways to take risks as an old person.  If you have never liked fishing, you probably won’t buy a bass boat and hit the lakes for competition in retirement.  If you’ve never been a happy person, you will be sorely challenged to find happiness once the burdens of a working life are over.

“Willson’s Second Law of Retirement”

There are always exceptions to Willson’s First Law, but damn few.

 

Home Of O’Meara Brothers for 100 Years

The Story Of George O’Meara

I get up every morning and don’t have anything else to do, so I go down to the store for a while.”  G. O’Meara

George O’Meara was a great man, who lived in one place and had one job his entire life.  He lived in one house (in Hillsdale, Michigan) from the time he was born until he married, then bought a house and lived in that one until he died.  He worked in the family business as a boy, took over the business after (Hillsdale) college, ran it until he turned it over to his son, and kept on “going to the store” until he could literally no longer leave the house.

The business was paint and decorating, and for many years was the oldest continuously operating family business in Hillsdale County.  George loved cigars (even after the doctors made him stop smoking at about 85, he always had one in his mouth), good whiskey (“I don’t trust a man who won’t take a drink.”), canasta, and football.  Like all good Irish Catholics he rooted for Notre Dame, but his passion was reserved for the Hillsdale Hornets, the Hillsdale College Chargers (the “Dales” in his youth), and to a lesser extent the Go Blue in the Big House.

It wasn’t unusual, for many years, for him and Hillsdale friends to watch high school football on Friday nights, Michigan in Ann Arbor on Saturday at noon, and back to Hillsdale for the Saturday night Charger game.  He was also a fixture at St. Anthony Catholic Church, served for many years as the unpaid (and under-appreciated) Treasurer of the City of Hillsdale, and was quietly proud of the several marriages he had helped save by having Come to Jesus meetings with straying husbands (“When have you ever seen a man improve himself by throwing out one wife to acquire another?”).

George was also a Rotarian, a Harris Fellow signifying decades of dedicated community life, and thus exemplifying…

“Willson’s First Law of Patriotism”

If you don’t love the Rotary Club, you are unlikely to be an American Patriot.

The strength of this country is that it has nurtured millions of middle class businessmen, tradesmen, farmers and professionals like George O’Meara.

A sad thing about his later life, however, was that he had virtually no retirement; and even though he was quite healthy, no real “Golden Years.”

Growing Old Isn’t For Sissies

“Growing old isn’t for sissies,” George used to say to me a couple of times a week.  It wasn’t that he lacked attention.  He had his sister and the devoted families of his two sons with him for his last twenty or so years, and many friends.  My wife and I loved him as a second father.  He was not an unhappy man; but as good as he had been at his work, he had only his work.  When he was no longer very useful at the store, he got old fast. 

This is not the stuff of tragedy, because his life was both meaningful and noble.  But it should give pause to those of us faced with the opportunities and burdens of having many years without the work that up to a certain point did much to define us.

George O'Meara's life was meaningful and noble, but he had only his work. Click To Tweet


“What Would We Do, If We Didn’t Have Our Work?”

And “What would we do,” my mother-in-law so often said, “if we didn’t have our work?”  This was not so much a philosophical position as an insight that amongst life’s woes work is not only self-defining but therapeutic, and even liberating.  She had a copy of the “Kitchen Catechism” hanging on the wall beside her breakfast table:

Lord of all pots and pans and things,
Since I’ve no time to be
A saint by doing lovely things or
Watching late with thee,
Or dreaming in the twilight or
Storming heaven’s gates.
Make me a saint by getting meals or
Washing up the plates.

This is the first verse of a poem that echoes the Martha/Mary stories in the gospels of Luke and John, written by a humble woman from rural Missouri who spent her life as a teacher of young children.  To Pauline Bremer it represented an acceptance of a life of hard knocks nevertheless fulfilled by hard work and getting done what needed to be done in order to hold things together, raise her daughters in dignity, and care for an ailing husband as he slowly died.  Even happiness came in second to the good order of the household.  A good meal or a clean plate was its own reward.  A job done and a job to do was a path to its own kind of sainthood.

What Would We Do, If We Didn't Have Work? Pauline Bremer - Age 97 Click To Tweet

She is still with us—97 at this writing, and quite healthy—and although she has not had a “retirement” of leisure (“doing lovely things or watching late with thee”) she has the dignity and respect due to those whose work has been well done.  In fact, she is part of the last generation, born just after the end of World War I and long before Social Security, who could not reasonably expect even to have retirements.  Generations in those days did not have names, so nobody worried what we would have to do with “Boomers” or “Millennials.”  But she has taught me to organize my “post-work” work around what I have always done well, whether or not it involved “storming heaven’s gates.”


Figure Out Your Passion, Then Get Paid For It

“Figure out what is your passion—what you absolutely must do to be happy—and then figure out how to get somebody to pay you to do it.”   J. Bacon

We’ll close with Mr. Bacon’s quote.  He told Hillsdale College students a couple of years ago that when he informed his roommate that he was going to major in History, the roommate said, “Oh, Pre-Unemployment!”  And maybe add a major in English: “Oh, a double major in Pre-Unemployment!”

But John U. Bacon wanted to write, and eventually produced some high-selling books—on college football and education and his beloved University of Michigan and “the creative spark that lives within us all.”  His writing gets him gigs on the radio and lecture tours, teaching jobs, and “consulting” on this and that; stuff he will be able to do as long as he is ambulatory and has a computer.  Read his work, listen to him speak—he’s a happy guy who will probably never really “retire.”

Conclusion

We carry who we are into the years when we can’t be sissies, and if we have planned well or been lucky we won’t have to worry overmuch about money and “stuff.”  But if we have paid attention, that which we identified long ago as our passion(s) will keep us who we are and attentive to faith, family and community.  And not burdened with becoming something new.

 

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20 comments

  1. Hi Fritz and John! Great post as promised! I so appreciate your words of wisdom and completely agree. That’s why both my husband and myself intend to stay “semi-retired” for as long as we live. We both love what we do and can’t even imagine the empty hole that would be left if we just walked away from it all. Fortunately our work give us lots of freedom and flexible time so we can still travel and do all the other things we enjoy, but staying creatively involved in life, and continuing to learn new things is critical. Thanks again for the advice. ~Kathy

  2. Great post, I agree with the advice whole heartedly. Life is not about the destination, it’s the journey that counts. How you choose to pursue it is mostly up to you regardless of situation. Sure a situation like retirement can give you more time to pursue something you enjoy or cut out those things that try your patience, but ultimately who you are and your choices as to what you value will not change. Live your life and direct yourself towards what you value accordingly.

  3. What a great post. I do enjoy my job. I’m a talker and it allows me to talk to many different people. I also like to write and teach. I haven’t had a lot of time to write, but have had opportunities to write the Bible lessons for Sunday school and even a sermon. I am also now coaching soccer. Whether or not I get to a point where I can leave my job, thankfully I have found a way to get mostly paid to do what I love and use the same gifts in volunteer situations.

    Sometimes you can’t get paid to do what you love, so love to get paid and then find ways to volunteer to satisfy other passions. (Hey, that is a pretty good one) :O)

    1. Hey Chris! That’s awesome that you write bible studies (and a sermon!), great use of your talents for good. I like your last sentence – not a bad approach to work for the $, but find a way to get intangible compensation from your passion. That’s my approach with this blog, and it works well for me. Thanks for stopping by.

  4. I’ve often read that we need to retire TO something, not FROM something.

    I agree that our basic dispositions will not change much after we retire. However, this pertains to what we think of as a traditional retirement age. For those of our readers and co-bloggers who are younger, they have more of an opportunity to change by virtue of not being as set in their ways. Either way, it’s important to have a plan or the bones of a plan in place. To just stop working without that wouldn’t be healthy.

    1. Mrs G, “Retiring To Something”….that quote has always made an impact on me, as well. In fact, I had a call last night with a friend who retired a few years ago, and we talked about that quote. It is important to find something that gives you purpose in retirement.

  5. John (and Fritz):
    Thank you for sharing your wisdom of the ages, how timely it is. I appreciate the insight of those who have gone before me. In 2 weeks we will have been retired for a year seeing more than we imagined and experiencing life in a different way. We would agree that we don’t really change that much in retirement, what one was prior to retirement they’ll probably continue to do.. except perhaps for a more frequent nap. I have found great pleasure in doing the things I did “for fun” prior to retirement only doing them a little slower so that I enjoy the process more fully and the results are even better. And I have found spending “intentional time” with friends and loved ones that we seldom had time for while working brings great joy. Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones. May 2017 be a REMARKABLE year full of Love, Joy, and Adventure!!

  6. I had a college professor who would aver that the best way to predict what someone will do in the future is to look at what he or she did in the past. So Willson’s First Law of Retirement really hits home. Thank you, John, for this beautiful post. And thank you, Fritz, for giving John a platform to share his awesome brain. One of the best posts I’ve read this year.

    1. “One of the best posts I’ve read this year.”

      Wow, knowing how much you and Mrs G read, that’s saying something! I told you John could write!! You’d like him, he’s a really fascinating guy to spend some time with. A real thinker, with talent to put those thoughts into words. I’m honored to have him on my site!

  7. While I enjoy all of these posts, this one really came home as I worked at O’Meara’s in my high school and college years. George O’Meara was indeed a good man and a very fatherly figure, giving advice and opinions very freely. He was also a very good mentor and teacher. Thanks John for contributing this post and for such a wonderful dedication to a wonderful man. Yes, in modern times, we feel there is more to life than work, but for George O’Meara and many in his generation, this was more of the norm. He certainly was passionate and loved his work and it gave him a purpose and joy, probably why he made it to be 90 years old.

  8. John sounds like a really sweet and wise man…of course, being friends with you he must be!

    I have never really thought about Willsons first law of retirement but it makes perfect sense. I know I won’t be able to fly forever so I do often wonder how my retirement will go. My Nana is 93 and my other grandparents close to 90. That’s a looooong life to live if I do “retire” early. I do feel it is important to recognize the change from work to retired life so you feel the accomplishment of something…I just don’t know what that transition might bring. Looking forward to finding out!

  9. Great laws and quotes…!

    I am happy to read the first law: You aren’t going to change very much after you retire.

    It could mean I can “retire” earlier and carry on with what I do, with a different mindset. And I would call it be Financially Independent.

  10. Love the fresh perspective on what retirement is like! Thanks John.

    Both my wife and I enjoy were enough to get us by, but I can’t say we’ve found our passion and then figured out a way to get paid for it. But with our current careers, we’ve been able to accelerate savings and get on the path toward ER. At that time we hope to transition and follow that advice more closely, finding out passions, pursuing hobbies, and if more money comes of it then all the better.

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