The Purpose Code – A Book Review

Note:  This post includes Amazon Affiliate links, which will compensate me at no cost to you if you order through the links.

If I had to name one profession that could shed insight into what matters most in life, it’d be a hospice physician.

Imagine spending your working hours among those in their final days of life. Among people sharing what they’re most proud of…what they regret…what they realize matters.

What could you learn?  Fortunately, we don’t have to guess.

Jordan Grumet, MD, is a rare breed. Yes, he’s been a hospice doctor for 20 years, but he’s also a great writer, podcaster, and speaker. He’s dedicated his life to helping people in their final days and sharing their lessons with the world.  His first book, Taking Stock, was powerful and well-received (if you’ve not yet read that, add it to your list).  Finally, he’s also a nice guy and I’m fortunate to call him a friend.

His latest book, The Purpose Code, is being released today.  (Amazon affiliate link) I was fortunate to receive an advanced copy, and today I’m sharing what’s inside.

If you’re struggling with finding your purpose, this is a book you must read.

Jim at RouteToRetire recently read the book and wrote this great one-sentence summary: “…this book was exactly what I needed. It was like Jordan was in my head trying to lead me down the right path…” 

In particular, I loved Chapter 6 (“The Climb”), which breaks down Grumet’s framework for seeking purpose into logical and realistic steps.  That chapter, alone, is worth the price of the book.  

If you’ve already read enough, order it now.  Otherwise, read on as we take a deep dive between the covers.

The Purpose Code is a rare insight on how to live a fulfilling life. If you want to know how to live a life without regrets, read this book! Share on X

The Purpose Code – A Book Review

“How to unlock meaning, maximize happiness, and leave a lasting legacy.”

Grumet writes an interesting comment in the introduction: “But discussing purpose with audiences large and small doesn’t always lead to a positive response. In fact, the most common response is wildly negative.”

If your initial reaction to a book on Purpose is negative, I urge you to pause. 

Remember, Grumet has spent 20 years with folks on their deathbed.  He’s speaking from an area of knowledge that you and I will never achieve.  He believes our negative reaction is typically due to frustration at not being able to find Purpose in our lives, so he decided to write this book to help, as summarized in this line:

“For most people, purpose has become a kind of indecipherable code, sealing away true fulfillment and lasting happiness. But the purpose code is one that can be cracked. And anyone can do it. This book will show you how.”

If you do nothing else, I encourage you to order the book now. (Amazon affiliate link)  

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The Trailer

To kick things off, I’m sharing the “Trailer” that Grumet produced to promote the book.  It’s rare that a trailer is produced for a book, and speaks to his creative talent.  As you watch the video, note these relevant quotes. They’re great insights into what this book is all about:

• “What’s emerged from my extensive research is profound.”
• “Purpose isn’t just a luxury, it’s a vital link to health, longevity, and happiness.”
• “Over 90% of us grapple with Purpose Anxiety.”
• The Purpose Code is a “guide that will diminish anxiety, amplify happiness, and help you craft a legacy.”

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In the following section, I’m providing a summary of my key takeaways from each chapter. To avoid sharing all the details, I’ve summarized many of the concepts into a few key phrases, you’ll need to read the book for full context.

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Part I:  The Duality of Purpose

In Grumet’s Words:

In Part 1, we start with the paradox that purpose is both super-important to living a happy life and riddled with stress and anxiety, and show how to resolve this by breaking down purpose into its two kinds: “big P” Purpose and “little p” purpose. We will discover why the latter is better and more happiness-affirming than the former, and then explore how we can find it in our daily lives. Along the way, we will disprove one of the biggest misconceptions in personal finance today: that money can buy happiness.

Chapter 1 Takeaways: Is Purpose a Four-Letter Word?

• Purpose leads to greater happiness, longevity, and health, yet purpose anxiety is prevalent.
• Purpose anxiety is the fear of not knowing your purpose in life.
• The purpose paradox: purpose can be both life-affirming and destructive at the same time.
• The search for purpose is nuanced, and riddled with anxiety, loss, joy, and happiness. 
• We need to parse out those elements that induce anxiety and focus on those that bring joy.
• The most peaceful people I encounter are always those who have a strong sense of purpose.
• A revealing overview of scientific studies and the proven benefits of purpose.

Chapter 2 Takeaways: Why The Size of Your “P” Makes All The Difference

• Purpose comes in at least two sizes and your future happiness depends on picking the right one.
• The destination is in fact the way, and the path is more important than its endpoint.
• When it comes to purpose, bigger is not better.
• “Big P” purpose is focused on outcomes, “little p” purpose is focused on the path and process.
• Our anxiety tends to come from Big P purpose, whereas the real benefits come from little p purpose.
• We are programmed to pursue Big P and eschew little p, which is the wrong path.
• Incorporating little p purpose into our lives is a proven path to happiness.

Chapter 3 Takeaways: You Can’t Find What Isn’t Lost

• Little p purpose is created, not found.  Look internally, not externally.
• Concentrate on what fills your soul, then take action.
• Great discussion on how and why to conduct a Life Review.
• How Grumet used the art of subtraction to find his purpose in hospice work.
• The value of recalling the passions of your childhood.

Chapter 4 Takeaways: Money Can’t Buy Love, Purpose, or Happiness

• An interesting overview of studies on the relationship between money and happiness.
• Lottery winners are less happy than expected, and accident victims are more happy than expected.
• Harvard study:  relationships were more predictive of happiness than wealth.
• Community and connections should be prioritized over the pursuit of more wealth.
• Little p purpose leads to increased social connectedness and relationships.
• You’re doing it wrong if you think money is the solution to your problems.
• Fascinating insight into regrets people have on their deathbed (it’s not money). 

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Part II: Meaning + Purpose = Happiness

“Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life,
the whole aim and end of human existence.”
—Aristotle

In Grumet’s Words:

In Part 2, we will explore the roles of both meaning and purpose in bringing happiness. While these terms are often used interchangeably, meaning actually refers to our cognitive understanding of the past; while purpose points us to action regarding our present and future. It turns out that we need both.

I will explore meaning in terms of the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. Becoming the hero of our own journey makes the past bearable and the future limitless. I will introduce the powerfully helpful concept of the climb: a framework which equips us to build a life of “little P” purpose.

Chapter 5 Takeaways:  Meaning and Purpose – Two Sides of the Same Coin 

• Meaning and (little p) purpose form two sides of the happiness coin.
• Meaning is thought-focused and deals with the past, and purpose is action-focused on the future.
• A sense of meaning involves interpreting our past and becoming a hero of our own story.
• Happy people view past problems as a bridge to good, unhappy people adopt a victim mentality.
• The stories we tell ourselves about our past impact our perspective on meaning.
• Figure out how to be the hero in your story, regardless of the curveballs life throws at you.
• A discussion on Narrative Therapy and how it helps reframe your story in a positive light.

Chapter 6 Takeaways: The Climb 

“The science is clear: those who engage in climbs are happier. Period.”

• The Climb is Grumet’s framework for turning purpose into action to create fulfillment.
• The Climb contains two aspects: 1) pursuing joyful activities, and 2) leaving room for incremental gains.
• We can’t control time, but we can control the activities we choose to do in that time.
• The “joy of addition” refers to adding purposeful activities, one at a time.
• Follow these commandments to create a healthy climb:

Chapter 7 Takeaways:  What if You Can’t Afford Climbing Shoes? 

• Grumet addresses the critics who say they don’t have time to pursue purpose.
• Money is not the goal, it’s to use money to create meaning and purpose.
• Money is only one tool in your toolbelt. Grumet outlines other tools to create margin.
• Human capital, knowledge, passion, and community are other useful tools.
• How to utilize side hustles and substitution in your pursuit of passion.

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Part III: Small But Mighty – How Little P Purpose Changes The World

In Grumet’s Words:

And finally, in Part 3, we will discuss why it all matters. One of the main reasons most people focus on “big P” Purpose is because they think that it is the most assured way to have a greater impact. Big, audacious goals are partly big and audacious because they get people’s attention. Many believe that true purpose must create either some sort of social good or a large-scale personal improvement. You have to either win the Nobel Prize or become a billionaire.

In fact, long-term, generationally impactful, and legacy-building purpose is much more likely to be of the little p kind. In Part 3, we will explain why.

Chapter 8 Takeaways: How the Little P(purpose) Supports the Big P(people)

• Meaning, purpose, and happiness are not the goal.
• What matters is personal connection and community. That’s true “winning.”
• Pursuing purpose creates personal connections that lead to true happiness.
• Other people cannot be your purpose, we must invest in ourselves.
• A joyous climb builds communities, changing both ourselves and others.
• Building a true community has positive impacts on happiness and longevity.
• Practical tips on how to find or build your own true community.

Chapter 9 Takeaways: A Pebble in the Vast Ocean

• Like a pebble hitting water, we create waves that last beyond our lives.
• These “Generational Scripts” become our legacy (either positive or negative).
• Generational Trauma is when trauma extends from one generation to the next.
• Generational Growth leads to positive traits for future generations.
• Legacy is a byproduct of living a purposeful life and having authentic climbs.
• For the greatest impact, be visible in your pursuit of passion.

Chapter 10 Takeaways: Embrace Purpose, Erase Regret

• How regret can be a gift on your journey to purpose and happiness.
• How “if not now, when?” can lead to action.
• Emotional case studies of clients Beatriz and Christine.
• The two types of regret (Action vs. Inaction) we’ll all experience in life.
• Inaction regret is common among the dying.
• Don’t put off the things that matter, start your climb! (memento mori)
• Would you have any regrets if you died tomorrow?  Act now.

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Conclusion

I’ve heard from hundreds of readers frustrated at being stuck in the dreaded Phase II of The 4 Phases of Retirement.  My advice has always been the same:  start listening to that inner voice and have the courage to take action, however small.  Find something that interests you, and take that first step.  You’ll be amazed where it can lead.

I never knew it until I read The Purpose Code, but I was encouraging them to “Start The Climb” as outlined in Chapter 6.  This book resonated with me since I’ve been climbing for years without realizing it.  I’ve found purpose in my life, and I am experiencing the true happiness so many seek. 

This stuff works.  It matters.  None of us want to have regrets on our deathbed.

I’ll have new advice the next time a reader writes about frustration in retirement.

That advice? 

Read this book.