A Day With My Daughter
Three weeks ago, my daughter said she wanted to buy me lunch for my birthday. Yesterday, I took her up on it. At her college. By myself. Is it possible to have a “Daddy/Daughter” date when your daughter is a rapidly growing up 20 year old?
Absolutely, and it was a blast!
We all think our children are something special, but mine really is. (I can take poetic liberty given that this is my blog and I control the pen, right?). I don’t know what we did right as parents, but I count it a blessing to have to this day a transparent, honest and deep connection with my daughter.
Lunch was at the world famous “Taco Stand”, a tattered and worn building on the side of the road, with a screen window for your order and a few picnic tables in the side lot. It couldn’t have been more perfect. The weather was as good as it gets, and the discussion over lunch was even better. Boys. College social dynamics. Roommates. Classes. The future. A car. Guns.
For her 21st birthday, she really, really wants a gun. I could dedicate many posts to Americans and their guns, but suffice it to say now that I’m a supporter of the Second Amendment, and feel strongly in what our constitutional writers intended for personal liberties (and why). So, as a supporter, how do you respond to a girl who wants a gun? She’s essentially an adult now, and I believe in treating her as such. So, how does a Dad handle the situation while dining at the infamous Taco Stand?
First, personal searching. Is she ready? Is she responsible? Is she mature? Check. Check. Check. As a Criminology Major with a future interest in law enforcement, she’ll likely use guns in her future.
Second, is there a “teachable moment” here? The virtue of patience? Wants vs Needs? Balancing finance vs materialism? Indeed. Therefore, the approach is: use the anticipation as a way to work together on how to make a major purchase decision.
Third: The path forward. My wife and I have agreed to the gun, but not until her 21st birthday in November. Between then and now, my daughter and I are on our own little Quest:
The Search For The Perfect Gun.
We spent several hours yesterday at gun shops. Trying different guns, seeing how they feel in her hand, learning their features, studying the pricing. I’m sure we’ll spend many hours over the next 6 months at shooting ranges, sharing articles, and talking merits. In November, she’ll own her first handgun.
What about you? Do you seek out opportunities to develop “teachable moments”? Do you foster sincere communication with your children about things of interest to them.
Take the time. Our children are our legacy.