Shortly before I retired, I began seeking out advice from older folks who had experienced a great retirement. I recorded their advice and have been sharing it with you in a series of articles titled The One Retirement Question Project. When the opportunity presents itself, I plan on continuing this series. I can’t get enough of the secrets of a great retirement when presented through the experience of our elders.
Fortunately, today is one of those days, and we’ve got new advice from a charming 94-year-old couple I had the pleasure of speaking with recently. PR and Mary live in our Appalachian mountain town, and today they’ll share their secrets of a great retirement.
Today, a 94-year-old couple share their secrets of a great retirement. Take the opportunity to learn from our elders. Share on X
This is the 5th post in The One Retirement Question Project, and it’s been one of my favorite series in the 4 1/2 years of writing this blog. Below are links to the other posts in this series:
- The One Retirement Question Project (featuring Mr./Mrs. Smith, Ed, and my Dad)
- The Veteran (featuring Don Mathews, an amazing WWII Vet)
- A Man In A Kilt (featuring my ex-boss and friend, Curtis)
- The Uncle (featuring my Uncle Carl)
The Secrets To A Great Retirement
I met PR and Mary while my wife and I were doing some work with her new charity, Freedom For Fido. They’re a charming 94-year-old couple who live modestly and happily in a one-story home they built themselves 20 years ago. Below is a photo we took while we were with them, PR is kneeling by the dog and Mary is behind him with the brown hat (btw, that’s me in the orange, with my wonderful wife in front of me):
As we were finishing up our time with them, I explained my One Retirement Question Project and asked if they’d be willing to share their secrets of a great retirement. Fortunately for all of us, they agreed.
The One Retirement Question: Their Response
Sitting on their front porch at the end of the day, I turned on the recorder on my phone and hit “record”. I asked them the “One Retirement Question”:
“What is the one piece of advice you’d give to someone…to have the best possible retirement they could have?”
Following is the audio recording of their response in full (it’s just over 1 minute long). I encourage you to have a listen. It’s not often that you get to hear the secrets of a great retirement directly from a 94-year-old couple:
PR’s Response:
PR went first and answered with a concise: “Stay Busy, Stay Happy”.
You’ve gotta love PR. He’s quick and to the point, and his response illustrates that. I like those four short words and found myself thinking about the depth of those seemingly simple words.
Stay Busy: This response has been a consistent theme among participants of The One Retirement Question Project. It’s important to find things to keep yourself occupied, and I’ve found that activities in retirement which are driven by a Purpose are critical elements of a great retirement. It’s one of the reasons I write this blog, and I applaud PR for reminding us of the importance of finding important things to do in retirement.
Stay Happy: Wow, how much has been written on the keys to happiness? PR’s response reminded me of the first of my Ten Commandments Of Retirement, which is to “Have An Attitude Of Gratitude”. Being intentional in your decision to maintain a positive mindset is certainly one of the secrets of a great retirement and these two words from PR reiterate it’s importance.
Mary’s Response
Mary took the opposite tact of her husband and spoke in more detail about the secrets of a great retirement. Below are the key takeaways I had from her response:
Have Your Money Plans Lined Up: Getting the financials in place to enjoy your retirement is certainly one of the keys of a great retirement. Achieving Financial Independence allows a retiree to focus on things that bring true happiness in life without having to worry about meeting your financial needs.
Keep Your Health: I love this response from a 94-year old woman! PR and Mary are spry and vibrant in their 9th decade and I’m sure that didn’t happen by chance. They are the model of aging well, and I’ll forever cherish the walk that PR and I took out to his workshop. He lit up when he entered the workshop and the stories he told me in that workshop of building their home gave me some insight into how he’s stayed so fit. These two don’t quit, and they benefit from great health as a result.
Stay In Love With Your Spouse: In this age of increasing “gray divorce”, it’s important to focus on your relationship with your spouse. In retirement, you’re going to spend a lot of time together and it’s important to continually foster that relationship. Watching PR and Mary together, after 74 years of marriage, was an example of how to do it right.
What I’ve Learned From My Elders
I’ve now interviewed 9 folks for this series, all in their late 70’s and beyond. None of the “victims” heard the other responses, and yet they’ve all been incredibly consistent in their message regarding the secrets of a great retirement. Almost all have focused in some form or another on finding a Purpose in retirement, something which fills your days with activities which matter to you. There’s also frequent mention of relationships, attitude, and fitness.
Surprisingly, only two have focused on the financial aspects of retirement. I’m finding the lack of focus on money to be a consistent theme among those who have found success in retirement. Now in my 17th month of retirement, I’m finding the same in my personal experience. I seldom think about money, and I’m much more focused on pursuing those things which really matter to me. While money is a real focus when you’re making the decision of when to retire, it turns out that the secrets of a great retirement focus more on the “softer” issues of life. I’ve found my writing moving in this direction as well, and I plan on continuing that evolution. I sincerely believe, based on the limited sample size in my study, that I’m focused on the right things in my quest to “Help People Achieve A Great Retirement” (my byline).
We should all learn from those who have walked the path of retirement before us.
They have a lot to teach us.
All we have to do is listen.
Conclusion
If you’re interested in the secrets of a great retirement, just ask. Find folks who are living a great retirement and ask them the One Retirement Question. “What one piece of advice…”.
If you’re like me, you’ll find surprising consistency in the responses. The secrets of a great retirement center on finding things to do with your time that make a difference. Things that matter to you. For my wife, one of those is helping to free dogs who live their lives on chains. For me, it’s writing and getting in shape. For the two of us, it’s traveling and enjoying our time together.
What really matters to you? Take the time to figure it out, and then do something with it.
In the end, that’s the most important of the secrets of a great retirement. And now, thanks to PR, Mary and the others who have allowed me to record their responses, it’s not a secret at all.
Your Turn: What do you think are the secrets of a great retirement? Do you agree it’s in finding important things to do with your time or are there other things more significant for our retirement years? Let’s chat in the comments…
wow! I had to blink ,re-read and do the math… “the house they built 20 years ago!” This is very inspirational and enlightening! Thanks for another great read!
Good point, Amy. Tells me they had enough energy in their 70’s to build a house! I hope I have that kind of energy when I reach that age, and I’m doing everything I can to increase the odds!
Just a mathematical reminder…..they are in their 10th decade of life!
Mere youngsters, right! There’s actually a guy who just turned 100 in our town, I’m thinking about tracking him down for the series…
Love the series Fritz! I’m 8-9 years from retirement and I’m all about the money planning. It’s interesting that only 2 talked about it. To me that means it’s just as important or more important to stay health, concentrate on your relationship and make sure you live with purpose!
John, when I was 8-9 years out, it was certainly all about the money side of the equation. It’ll be interesting to see if you go through the same transition that most folks go through as they cross The Starting Line. No doubt in my mind, health, relationships and Purpose are the keys to a great retirement!
Fritz, I appreciate you putting into words what my wife & I have been experiencing. Yes, 14 months into FI, we’re finding that the money-focus is diminishing – & that mostly adjusting from an earn & save focus to a trust the numbers & work the plan approach. Our time will be even more freed to focus on investing in others, enjoying adventures, & functional fitness.
I love this stuff, the elderly have so much wisdom to give and they also have a knack for keeping it short, sweet, and pithy!
Maybe they have to keep it pithy…not much time left. 🙂
Wow! 94 years old, they are in good shape! Born in 1920’s, just think of all the changes they have seen in life. I’m grateful for them sharing their wisdom.
You’d love them if you met them, William. And yes, hard to imagine all the changes they’ve witnessed.
Great article, Fritz! I always encourage folks to become debt free as early as they can (esp when considering retirement)
Mark!! Great to see you leaving your first comment, I suspect they won’t be the last words from you we see on this blog. Wink. Looking forward to our lunch next week!
Makes me want to up my mileage and get a few more reps out of each set! I do think a lot about the accumulation phase as I’m about 10 years away but thanks for the post which is a great reminder of the health part – I’m also thankful during this season that my wife also runs and walks and works out which is a big deal and we do these together! Reading this post confirms it all matters a lot!
Technically they’re in their tenth decade right? 🙂
I’m interested in what types of exercise they do at 94. We’re seeing our Boomer parents unable to do any real form of exercise and want to head that off if possible.
Kim,
Since it was only “One Question”, we didn’t get into the details of their lives. I suspect they’re past the age of a formal exercise routine, suspect it’s more a matter of staying active around the house. I know PR walks his dog twice a day, and Mary is still active in the kitchen. To me, the key at that age is doing anything to keep moving, and my wife and I are planning on taking our daily walks with our dogs for as long as possible.
Thank you! Short and sweet, but still useful!
Thank you so much, this made my day! He is so much like my husband, short and to the point. She is so right, being in your own home knowing that you have made your money plans so the money will last is so important. Oh and stay in love with your spouse was a true gem!! Thank you! I always thought someone should interview those who “have gone before us” successfully.
I’m pleased to hear you enjoy the interviews of those who “have gone before us”. I’ve found it to be one of the real rewards of running this blog.
Great Read ! Thanks
Great insight from PR and Mary, thanks for sharing their wisdom. Fritz, I like how you referred to retirement as the “starting line” so many call it the opposite!
The one retirement question is great – so glad I got to read it. I love the four word answer, balanced out by a bit more depth from Mary. I imagine a similar approach if my wife and I were asked this question at 94.
We’ll be retiring early-ish in the next 5-10 years and are definitely building our plans around a purposeful retirement. We’re fortunate that, as educators, we’ve found purpose in our working life, and wouldn’t know what to do without that drive in retirement.
Once you have the financial capability to meet your everyday basic needs for 20 or 30 years, it is essential to grow the humanity from within.
The inflection age is approximately around 60 years old.
If you are 60 and younger, it is naturally for you to seek for the piece of humanity that matches with your potential – fulfillment, happiness and satisfaction are the metrics to measure the efforts.
The drive to be part of the improvement that is beneficial to your own species is the hallmark of being a human.
Beyond the 60 years of age – you will reap what you have sowed!
“…you will reap what you have sowed!”
I think there’s a lot of truth to that statement, TE. It’s always interesting to me to see how those who are the most generous are often the ones most blessed. It’s definitely a good move to live life with a generous heart, constantly seeking “improvement that is beneficial to your own species”.
I just turned 49 and am a bit obsessed about learning the path and doing it right. I’ve been studying the FIRE community on how to get there but more importantly is what to do when you get to retirement and how to stay active, excited for each day, explore, and have a meaningful retirement. My youngest of 3 kids is 12 and next year my two oldest will be in college. I’m loving your blog and others blogs and podcasts as I learn how to do this right and well early enough to avoid the pitfalls. I’d love to think we could build a house or RV when I’m 74. Great stuff. I’m crazy about my wife but I need to make sure I don’t drive her crazy when she spends a lot more time with me in retirement.
Grant, wise words for a 49-year-old. I applaud you for focusing on the things that matter, and think your early thoughts about what you want your life to be once you achieve FIRE will serve you well in the long term. Ironic you mention about driving your wife crazy – that’s actually the focus in one of the chapters I’m writing for my book. I hope you find it of value. Thanks for being a reader of The Retirement Manifesto!